AlphaNvmerik

= Shawn + Internet

  • So, lemme present a hypothetical situation.  I’m having one of those “am I crazy?” moments and I am fairly certain I’m not, but here goes.

     

    Pretend you are living with a friend of yours.  You had been at least friendly acquaintances(somewhere between friend and someone you know) before moving in with each other.  Over the course of the few years you had lived with this friend, you had become at least close friends if not BFFs.  Then, your friend tells you that they have decided to move out in a week.  No advance warning or discussion, just that they had decided to move a few hundred miles away.

     

    At this point, would you feel:

    A: Happy?

    B: Sad?

    C: Indifferent?

    D: Upset?

     

    After moving out, you hear absolutely nothing from your former roommate/friend.  No communication what-so-ever.  A few months go by and you friend calls you up to say that things aren’t working out so well in their new living and that they would like to move back in.  

     

    Would you:

    A: Tell them to piss off?

    B: Welcome them back with open arms?

    C: Try to set open terms for the new living arrangement?

    D: Outlook hazy, check back later?

     

    Let’s say you choose C.  Let’s say you told this friend that communication was really important to you and you really didn’t want the first move out to happen again.  Your friend agrees and emphatically swears up and down that there is no way that will happen again.  Your friend moves back in, things return to pre-move out state, all is well.  Then, your friend finds an SO(significant other).  After they have been dating for a few weeks, you being to notice that your friend wants nothing to do with you or any of your common friends.  Your friend seems to only spend time with their SO and decline any attempt for co-fun.  So, you have a heart-to-heart conversation with your friend and explain that you don’t like where things are going.  You explain that communication seems to be a problem again and if that’s how they are evolving as a person, that it would not be weird for them to move out again.  Your friend explains that they realize that’s a problem and they emphatically swear (again) that they will work on improving communication and they will make things better.

     

    Two months go by with no communication at all with your friend.  Even though you are still living together, they seem to be doing everything they can to avoid any contact with you or any of your common friends.  Then, you get word from another person you know that your friend is filling out rental applications.

     

    Knowing that assumptions are bad, would you assume:

    A: They are just evaluating their options?

    B: They have already gone through the decision making process and have decided to move out?

     

     

    My answers in this situation were: D, C, B.  And somehow, my friend thinks I’m the unreasonable one.  Of course I’m, going to assume you have decided to move out.  Nobody I know fills out an application for anything to “see what their options are”.  That’s what the internet is for, to see what your options are.  That’s why you browse, or window shop.  

     

    Yes, I allowed someone to hurt me three times.  I suck, that’s my bad.  It’s not my bad that I tried to be reasonable and fair.  It’s not my fault that my friend has decided to go down the tried and true path of relationship over friends.

     

    What do you think is going to happen if his SO doesn’t work out in the long term?  Since he’s burned so many of his friends, you think they are going to be their for him?  We know that his SO’s friends are not going to want anything to do with him, they are going to side with the SO in any conflict.  He’ll be SO/friend-less and have nobody to blame but himself (even though he’ll try to not be responsible for that either).

     

    So, my dear reader, is Shawn crazy for wanting to be a good friend?

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